Only Love Can Hurt Like This
by ourlastdance1
Summary: "I didn't mean to fall in love with my best friend" Carla and Kate sit down to discuss her relationship with Rana, and Carla spills a secret of her own that has been untold for years.


"So come on, I've been the centre of attention for far too long. What's going on with you and Rana now then?"

Carla spoke softly as she passes over a mug of coffee to her sister, before taking a seat opposite, pulling her legs up beneath her and placing a cushion in front of her stomach to make herself more comfortable following her recent operation. Tonight was the first time she felt that she was getting som normality back in her life and it was nice to sit down with Kate and be able to talk about other things without her mind constantly flicking back to the thought of possible death. This was the first time in over a year she had not felt anxious. She was healing well and she was feeling positive about life, and now she wanted to ensure that Kate too, was doing well.

Sighing slightly as she accepts the mug, leaning back into the cushions, sounding defeated as she does.

"I don't even know.. nothing at the moment, her and Zeedan are giving it another go, I don't want to cause anymore hurt but I also don't want to sit back and watch, not when..."

"Not when what?" Carla tilts her head to try and capture Kate's eye, the contact having been broken moments before as Kate diverted her eyes to the floor, her emotions building up as she tried to speak.

"Not when I know I love her.. it's just so confusing though, she honestly was just my best friend and then out of no where this happened. I feel so guilty, ruining their marriage, but we didn't mean to.. I didn't mean to fall in love with my best friend"

Watching the tears fall from her younger sisters eyes made Carla slowly stand up and make her way over to her, sitting down directly beside her, placing an arm around her shoulders, letting Kate cry freely, hoping it would help if she let it all out now.

"I don't know what to do.. if I tell her and she rejects me, still stays with Zee? I don't know how I'll cope.. it's such a mess. I am such a mess"

"Hey, calm down. You aren't the first one to be in this position you know" Carla smiles weakly at Kate and watches as she begins to harshly wipe at the tears staining her face.

"Oh come on.. most people aren't stupid enough to let themselves develop feelings for the married, straight best friend do they?" Kate's face changes as she watches Carla's reaction to her words.

They both sit in silence for a minute with Carla taking a few moments to decide if she was brave enough to continue this conversation, a conversation she had never had with anyone, some thoughts that had never been spoken out loud.

"I know how you feel.." she finally breaks the silence, her eyes now nervously scanning the floor.

"Look Carla, I know you fell for a few married men before, but this is completely different"

"No I fell in love with my best friend... who wasn't a man..." exhaling loudly as she spoke the words that sounded so very strange. There was no turning back now that she had started so she decided to continue, not allowing Kate to say another word for fear she'd be unable to explain herself.

"Listen Kate, nobody knows about this, and nobody can ever know, I'm only telling you so that you know you can talk to me and that I really do know what you're going through alright?"

Kate nods obediently, Carla definitely had her full attention now.

"I couldn't even tell you when the type of love I had for them changed from the a friendship type of love into a romantic type of love. All I know is that once it happens, it never leaves you and you will compare everything you have with anyone else, to what you envision you could have with them. No other relationship or partner will ever compare and they will all eventually fail, no matter how much you try to fake it or convince yourself, because in the back of your mind you know, you know that you'd swap them in a heart beat for the one you really love. I know you think a lot of Zeedan and you don't want to hurt him, but ultimately you'll end up hurting yourself, Rana and Zeedan even more the longer this goes on. Life's too short kid, If the last few months have taught me anything it's that"

"Have you.. have you ever told this person how you really feel?"

It was obvious that Kate was trying to figure out who Carla could be talking about in her head, she knew her sister had not had many close friends so it had to be someone she knew about.

"They know that I love them, love them to death.. but no they don't know the type of love. It's too late for me but it isn't for you"

"Can I just ask who it is? I promise I won't say anything. I just didn't realise you had been hiding this too" Kate's eyes searched Carla's for an answer, although she was 99% certain she knew who Carla was talking about.

"Michelle.. but she can never know Kate, I have never trusted anyone else with this. I have never actually admitted it to myself"

Kate watches as Carla's eyes fill with tears before they slowly fall and slowly drip down her face, she instantly pulls her older sister into a tight embrace, still shocked by her revelation but also shocked that they were both so similar.


End file.
